Thoughts On: John 5:30-44

I have come in my Father's name, and you do not receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him. How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? 

John 5:43-44, ESV

My favorite item I own is my old comforter. I received it as a Christmas gift when I was 18, and I’ve worn holes in it since then. It is a quilt made of all kinds of fabrics - orange and sky blue and gentle purple. It looks like a fairytale, and I keep it in my living room now to remind me of the comfort that comes with loving Christ and being loved by him.

I’ve used a lot of things as comforters over the years. I’ve used tears and fear and human beings. But one of my most worn-out comforters has always been the praise of others. I have always loved being told I am doing well, and I loved the feeling of deflecting the comment so that no one knew how much it meant to me. I wrapped myself up in the applause of others, like in Max Lucado’s book You are Special, with the wooden people who define themselves by how many golden stars or gray dots they’ve been given. I believed the lie that glory comes from people.

Sometimes I still go back to this lie, mostly when I start something new. My default is to find comfort in compliments. My old self entrenched herself so deeply in other people’s opinions that asking her to let it go nearly broke her into shards. The problem is that, when I go back to that person I used to be, I make myself sick trying to fit into a mold that never worked in the first place. That comforter doesn’t comfort me, anymore - it fell apart ages ago, and when I try to go back to it, I’m left wet and cold on the side of my life, wanting more. 

My boss came into my office yesterday and said something that I think is the ultimate truth. He mentioned how we all still feel like fakes sometimes - like someone is going to find us out and fire us, or yell at us, or be incredibly disappointed in us. But he said that it is in those moments of fear that we have lost sight of what really matters - that if we’re not with God, it doesn’t matter anyways. The point of our lives is to be with God, and to make space for him to move. That’s the truth: All glory comes from God.

God is the only comforter we will ever need, because he’s the only one whose opinion actually matters. He created each of us and he knows what we’re good at and what we’re bad at, what we need to work through and what we need to let go. He’s got it all in the palm of his hand, and if we’re not with him, we’re missing the point. Nothing else matters if we’re not seeking out the glory of God, and we will make ourselves sick asking for glory from people. Like my worn-out comforter, Christ surrounds us with the warmth of his glory - all we have to do is point to him and smile.