Thoughts On: Gilmore Girls

I have known for a while now that Lorelei and Rory's relationship is unhealthy. I knew that Rory's character left something to be desired, and I knew it all felt too good to be true. There was no grit, no courage, no daring. The nostalgia and simplicity of it can sweep you away, but at some point it all became a bit hollow and over-caffeinated - it never quite added up.

I suppose we all wanted to keep rooting for the Gilmore Girls, though. We wanted the bookish, homebody Rory to make it big, because we wanted to believe that our dreams weren't as hollow as hers. We also wanted to believe it would take no work to get there - that there would be no uphill climbs or dark nights of the soul - only adoring boyfriends and enough money to pay our way to Europe and back. We wanted to drink all the coffee and assume that would be enough. We wanted to believe it would be easy.

Rory showed us, though, where easy gets you. She showed us what it looks like to discard another human's feelings to get the quick high of an ex-lover. She showed us how to lack discretion in choosing what will and will not bring you closer to your goals. She showed us how to whine about the opportunities being handed to us, and to gripe about our lack of options because of our inherent belief in our "specialness." Rory taught us, through word and deed, where the easy life leads. 

At some point in all of our lives we need a wake-up call - something that indicates our plan has some holes in it. In many ways, I think it is good that Rory's plan fell through. If the final four words had happened at the end of Season 7, as they were supposed to, it is possible that Rory would have made the right decision, owned up to her own life and begun the hard work of making wise decisions and goal-oriented choices.

The saddest part, though, is that I don't think the writer ever intended it that way. The saddest part is that she wrote the same female character we've seen our whole lives - a static girl who never grows up or learns from her mistakes. Maybe she thought it would be cute, to watch as a daughter followed in her mother's pain-filled footsteps - maybe she thought it would be the ultimate way to show how close they really were. But that was never what I wanted to see. I wanted to watch a mother and daughter learn how to love each other in the midst of their differences. I wanted to watch Rory deal with her past and come out on the other side, a little worn-out but stronger for it. I wanted to see our girl fight for a whole, vibrant life, and I didn't get that. I got a shadow of the Rory I looked up to, and the hardest part was realizing she had been a shadow all along.

It's time to move on, now. We didn't get what we wanted, but unlike Rory we don't need to dwell there. We may feel defeated by shootings and elections, by the media and by silly female characters, but we always get a say in our own lives. We get to decide whether we become gritty and true, or shallow and fake. Rory Gilmore may lack the depth of character we wanted her to grow into, but she's not a self-fulfilling prophecy, as I've read in so many other articles. We get to decide the ending to this story - and I'm going to keep fighting for a good one.