Thoughts On: John 1:1-5

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:1-5, ESV

I have always been slightly terrified about following Jesus. What if it’s not true? How heartbreaking it would be, to find out that there was no light at all, that it was all in my head. How painful it would be, to know that nothing could pierce through the racism, through the pain and fear, through the shootings and the terrorism, through the debilitating despair that comes with living. What if there was no cure? 

The thought has often rattled through my head: All this darkness kills the light.

But here we are, still noticing the good, and here I am, deciding to believe. I believe because I see Him everywhere. I believe because I see the light, and because I see how He is not overcome. It is always in the little things, and yet it is always there: A sliver of light. A candle in the dark. A beacon of hope.

Jesus is the Word, and in Him is life, which is light, which will never be put out. And since belief starts in the mind, I will take this thought into my life:

God is light, and He cannot be overcome.

Which is not to say that the darkness hasn't tried. Indeed, the darkness tried to kill Him. In the most brutal of all events, full of thorns and terror and death, still darkness could not win. Still, Jesus lives.

I have known this for so long, but I'm not sure I've lived it. What if I lived as if God could not be overshadowed? What if I acted as though God can cut through dark? What if, instead of wallowing, I believed that God is good and that His goodness never dies? I think I would feel free, and I think I would feel relieved. I would act on my belief that God will show up, and that His light will never fade. I would act with faith.

So now it is time to make a decision. I have been excited and I have made a plan, but to act on it is a different kind of bold. It is easy to write a statement, and while it is hard to live it, it is even harder to mold your own thoughts to it. But that was, and is, the heart of this plan: To heal my mind. To take out the bad and import the good. To break down the barriers and create safe places. But it is becoming obvious, now, that this will be impossible without God.

And so each morning I will attempt to learn something new, and discard something old. I will put in the sweat and the thought and the heart. But what a beautiful life, that I can allow the Holy Spirit to do the rest. I do not have to work my way into feeling better, and I do not have to feel my way into healthy actions. No - replace the thought, repeat it often, and let the Holy Spirit move. This is the experiment, and I absolutely cannot wait to see where it will lead.