Thoughts On: John 6:35-59

"As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate, and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever." Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.

John 6:57-59

My small group practices waiting on Jesus at the end of our time together. We sit in silence for a few minutes and ask the Holy Spirit to come, and then we share what we heard or saw or didn't hear or see. It's all quite new to me, but I love it, because it turns out I've been practicing it on my own for a while now. I love it because the Holy Spirit speaks in whispers and sweetness, not in screams or violence. I love it because it doesn't make me scared or anxious. I love it because hearing snippets of God's heart brings mine to life. 

This past week I had a vision of a small brook that led into a trickling waterfall. The water in the brook slowly made it's way deeper and deeper down, and I remembered reading earlier that day that just like water flows to the deepest ground, our lives continue to grow down in Christ. God has been speaking to me consistently about depth in the past six months, and so the vision made sense, until I saw what I assumed to be the deepest part of this small waterfall. I felt content to stay at that place, where a small pool had accumulated, maybe enough to fit in the palm of my hands and take a sip. 

The tension began when I realized the water in that small pool was dripping down into another place, someplace deeper. I began to realize that the place I once called deep was only a sip of the life God intended to give me. I realized there was something else down there, and within the vision I pushed back. I didn't want to see where the water was going - I wanted to stay in my little pool. The problem with my little pool was that it quickly ran out. It's the lie I've always believed - that I will run out of Jesus. 

So, out of thirst and curiosity, I watched the vision continue. I saw that beneath a few small rocks, where I had watched the water drip to somewhere else, there lived a clear and infinite spring of water. As the rocks were cleared and the light came in, it became obvious that this was where the water had been traveling all these years. The small stream I had followed led here - to where all the water ended up. There would be no more running out. I'd found the source. Here was the food and drink I had always longed for. 

Now, I think there is much more to this passage in John than I can unpack right now. I think it is about communion and sacrifice and eternal nutrition and everlasting joy. I think it is about a lot of things that will make sense to me over time, as I live out my faith and get to know Jesus more intimately. What I understand about it all today, though, is that the nourishment isn't scarce. There will always be enough water. There will always be enough bread. There will always be enough of what we need, because Jesus always provides.

Just like the bread in this Scripture, and just like the water in my vision, Christ is our constant source of nourishment. He multiplies everything we need until we realize it for ourselves: There is no running out anymore. I lived in scarcity for so long that this seems insane. I am used to scavenging and fighting and clawing for my sustenance, but Jesus calls us to stop. He calls us hold out our hands. He calls us to look beneath us. He calls us to the reality that we thought was too good to be true - that he will provide, and he provides every time.